When a heart breaks, it doesn't break even

When I met him, my life changed from grayscale to blooming. Loving him is like eating my favorite ice cream flavor...pure heaven. Memorizing him is like knowing each part of my body...easy. He's my panacea. My universal cure. He's both my complication and my quiet like a yin yang that balances everything in me. He's my hearthrob. My heart throbs when he's around. He's not a prince but he is my hero. He attends to all my needs, he saves me from sadness & loneliness. I am no princess myself. I don't need a prince or a knight in shining armor riding in a white horse. That's too old school. He's my personal brand of ecstasy and i'm addicted to him. I just can't stop. That playboy had gotten to me like no other boy had.

Our story is not one of those sappy romantic chick flicks with a predictable ending. In fact, we're far from that. Ours might be unconventional but it's real. Since we're in real life, the girl usually got her heart broken with no one to help her to pick up the shattered pieces of her heart.

One moment, you're happy. Then the next, you're miserable. Are we genetically wired to fall deeper with somebody who keeps on hurting us? Too much hurting might give you a mini heart attack. Too much happiness might make you worry that something terrible is about to happen. That's the repercussion of falling in love. You're in for nothing but the extremes.

The emptiness digs a deeper hole in your heart in a soul-shattering way. Everyday, you face the challenge of being happy or even just looking happy in front of everybody else. You don't want them to pity you. You don't want to wallow in your pool of miseries. But rather, you want them to think that you're handling it so well that it's no big deal. He's doing fine anyway...why can't you?

The things you used to do, the words he used to say, the way he used to stare...burn in your memory like a sad song that keeps playing in your head. You didn't want it there but there's no way you can get rid of it. You will be forever stuck in the labyrinth. Poor you.

But the sad part is, you can't hate him. You can never result to hating him. You can hate yourself but you don't get to blame him for everything that had happened. Maybe he has his reasons. You have no way to find out so you settle for the fact that you messed up. Big time.

Blame the stars, the moon and the skies. But everything will remain the same, nothing will change. It may be destiny, a doom or a karma, it was bound to happen.

#Heartbreak #Pain #Acceptance #MovingOn